I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
