what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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