My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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