Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just found puke in my bra..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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