I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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