We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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