i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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