Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
