Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
