i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
