One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
