the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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