I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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