I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
