we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
