There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
