Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
