ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
