I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
