Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
