Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
