Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
