Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
