She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
