I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
