You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
