I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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