whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
