glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I understand Curling. That high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
