he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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