Kiss
Puke
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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