So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
