This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
