So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
