was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
