I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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