you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
