What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
