did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
