they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
