dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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