Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
