what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
