is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
