You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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