Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish you could order shots online.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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