guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
