There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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