I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
