You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
