So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
