This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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