so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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